1. Change your mindset.
No one expects perfection! Rewrite the script in your head telling you that you’ll be more confident if you could just stop making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Transcriptions of native English speakers show that they’re very ungrammatical when they speak.
Holding yourself to too high of a standard may be what’s holding you back from being a more confident speaker.
Remember, confidence controls the conversation! In reality, people are much more likely to remember your passion, confidence, or your conversation topic than small grammatical or pronunciation problems. Focus less on perfection and more on communicating as a way to connect with people.
2. Practice without pressure.
Practice in a safe space with a language coach or other learners at your same level so you get used to talking without time pressure.
I remind my coaching clients all time: Practice isn’t performance.
Your confidence may have suffered from continually finding yourself in stressful conversational situations, but you can rebuild it through active practice in an encouraging environment. You don’t have to “throw yourself in the deep end” and force yourself to “get out there.” Be kind to yourself and respect your learning process.
Working with others who understand what it’s like and who have patience can really help build your confidence.
3. Do what you love.
Build fluency with input that you actually enjoy! You don’t have to learn a language from a boring textbook. If you like watching murder mysteries set in Scandinavia (yep, that’s me), then use those shows to practice your target language. (Language Reactor, formerly known as Language Learning with Netflix, gives you a pop-up dictionary and dual-language subtitles.)
Maybe you’d like to write stories for your kids or you’ve always dreamt of trying your hand at poetry. These are great ways to play with words and practice your language.
But—while it’s perfectly fine to follow your heart—you may first want to make sure you’re clear on your goals. If you need to prepare for an interview in English, then binge-watching old episodes of ‘The Office’ may not be the best way to proceed. (Then again, maybe it’s a good example of what not to do!)
Working with a coach can help you to identify your ultimate goal—the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’—and then guide you to activities that are both useful and interesting for you.
4. Prepare with set phrases.
Language isn’t usually learned word by word. We use and learn a language in “chunks.” In fact, We use language in chunks more than individual words, so learn new words with their collocations and repeat set phrases that are frequently used in common situations.
For example, in an interview, many people begin their answer with the phrase, “That’s a good question.” Of course, you don’t want to start every answer with the same set phrase, but having a few phrases at hand can give you time to think.
Similarly, there are lots of set phrases commonly used in presentations or meetings that aren’t used in everyday speaking. For example, the transition phrase, “Without further ado, let’s get started.”
Inserting a few of these set phrases into your presentation can help you feel more prepared and, thus, more confident.
5. Ask for help.
People don’t look down on you for needing help. In fact, when someone is able to help you, they generally feel more connected to you. Asking for help can be a great way to make a new friend!
In addition, by sharing your anxieties with others, you’ll likely discover that everyone struggles with confidence in certain areas of their lives. And often we lack confidence in many of the same areas as the people around us.
Acknowledging this and working together to support each other is the best confidence booster of all!
Interested in learning how language coaching can increase your confidence?